Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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