so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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