i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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