We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize