i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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