There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
