1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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