Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
