The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
