My brain says no but my pants say off.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize