its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think my mom watched the whole time
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
