did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
