I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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