I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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