I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
