They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
