i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
