Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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