ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
