Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
