Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
