Michael Bay diarrhea
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
