took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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