How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
