you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
