yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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