Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
