You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
