idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
