i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
