and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
