My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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