I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
