How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize