does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
