yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He felt like a one man threesome
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
