Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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