I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
