I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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