I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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