I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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