I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
