What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
