is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
