I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
