I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
