that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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