Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
