I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the night ended with taco bell and tears
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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