i will never coherently bang her
smell my finger.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
