new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
