I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
