So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
