so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
