you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
