Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
