you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
