yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
as a side note pls kill me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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