Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
