Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize