I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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