I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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