he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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